Twelve Days of Divorce

As Christmas is nearly here, I am sitting and listening to Christmas music. When “The Twelve Days of Christmas” comes around, I can’t help but laugh at an acquaintance of mine some time back. He had just gotten a divorce and came up with NEW words to the old tune.

Now I do not remember the entire thing (this was probably forty years ago), what I DO remember goes like this:

On the eight day of my divorce,
My ex-wife took from me,
Eight place settings,
Seven credit cards.
Six-cylinder Maverick,
FIVE POWER TOOLS!
Four radial tires,
Three bedroom home,
Two little children.
And my stereo and my color tv!

I wish I could remember the rest of it…

Merry Christmas

If cats were bigger…

Do you remember the study that came out about two months ago that basically said, “if your cat was bigger, it would kill you”?

That study is pure rubbish. I have witnessed close up the various personalities of a number of house cats over the last forty years or so. Cats are NOT intimidated by size. I have seen a 9 pound cat face off against a 90 pound doberman. The cat was NOT cornered. It WELCOMED the confrontation. Although it could have very easily gone the other way and ended in disaster, the doberman backed down. I have seen similar instances of cats very willingly face overwhelming odds and either emerging victorious or escaping unscathed. They live for the challenge.

If your cat really wanted you dead, either you or it would already be dead!

One other thing. Although they can be wonderfully graceful, they can also be complete klutzes. If they were bigger, their klutziness COULD possibly kill you by accident. If that were to happen, you would no longer be operating the can opener. The cat then will become hungry. You, being of no possible use dead, would most likely be eaten.

Unless you mistreat your feline, it will not purposely kill you. They are smart enough not to lose their meal ticket.

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